Post No. 32: Friends

A poem to start this post:

Be careful with friends

They come in all sizes

Just enjoy the connection

Don’t look for prizes

There is opportunity

We find it often

When we meet another   

If our eyes are open   

Friends drawn together

Unspoken simpatico

Just being together

Brings ease and flow

Always remember

Friends make life better

Yet understand this clue

Your best friend is you

This poem, although called “Friends”, can apply to all relationships.  Most relationships, where one party expects and needs a prize to make it work, will be fraught with problems and the relationship ends in a not so good way. On the other hand, a relationship that is based on an unspoken simpatico or visceral feeling of connection has a lot better chance of being a positive one. Sometimes relationships can be based on a common activity that both parties enjoy with one another.  The secret grease to all of this is that each party is comfortable in their own skin. They have a sense that they themselves are enough and that having friends and good relationships make life more enjoyable, easier and bring a sense of contentment.  These feelings and emotions span a wide spectrum.  Generally they are deepest in a long-term committed relationship.

Not everyone comes into a relationship with the sense that they are their own best friend. So, perhaps the direction to go is to recognize the nature of your own self, and that it is enough the way it is. This doesn’t mean that one should not try to improve some specific behaviors, but rather to just be OK with where one is in the present.

Of course I am painting an idealistic picture of relationships. In reality they are a lot messier than this. Perhaps this is a good thing. Otherwise we wouldn’t have some of the great novels and interesting films about relationships. A good novelist is able to bring out all the messiness of relationships, good and bad. The character development is crucial. Thank God relationships are not as simple as I make it out to be in this post, otherwise life might be more boring. At least in movies and novels!